Although we were both created a relationship through electronic means, the degree of our connections were much different. While Ullman was able to create and sustain an intimate and romantic relationship, I was merely able to discover what my roommate's basic interests and activities were at the time. This is in no way uncommon as I never establish a closer connection to someone else through electronic communications. To truly get to know someone I have to meet him or her in real life, where I feel much more comfortable talking and creating a relationship. I especially could not imagine retaining one of intimacy solely based on a number of e-mails.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Ullman Comparisons
Ellen Ullman and I do share some similarities in trying to establish and maintain a relationship though electronically talking to someone. However, we differ in our abilities to keep these relationships on a close and long lasting level. When I first discovered who my roommate would be for my freshman year this summer, the first thing I did was become friends with him on Facebook so I could contact him, since I never use my regular email to contact friends. Through this online connection I was able to talk with him and learn his hobbies, interests, and anything else I wanted or needed to know. I, like Ullman, was able to grow closer to another person using an electronic form of communication that would not otherwise have been created until weeks later.
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I agree with Richard that it is hard to have an intimate relationship with someone via email simply because it is hard to spell out thoughts and communicate in forums that are not instantaneous, like instant messaging. It seems that Ullman got around this problem by using email instantaneously--by responding instantly whenever Karl wrote her. But most people are not like that--they don't sit in front of their computers waiting to respond to others' emails. Thus, there has been a migration to more easy-to-use social networking sites where people can carry on conversations more akin to those in daily life.
ReplyDeleteI liked your comparison of getting to know your roommate through Facebook. That is one time where I could see it would be normal to get to know someone better by online communication. I definitely agree with you that I cannot imagine having an intimate or meaningful relationship based in online communication.
ReplyDeleteI agree completely that electronic means of meeting someone can be very helpful in certain situations, like the one you mentioned with your roommate (I did the same thing as well). But I also agree that intimate relationships need to be created in person, and that e-mails and other forms of electronic communication are not enough to do so. When meeting someone online you cannot get a true idea of what that person is like in real life, even if they seem really interesting and nice. To truly know if you are going to be able to get along with someone, it is absolutely necessary to meet them and hang out with them in person.
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree that relationships can only be built to a certain extent over the email. People can come off much different over email or instant message. In some cases people come off nicer or funnier while in others a person can come off more arrogant than they actually are or too sarcastic. It is definitely important to not let your relationship with one go too far without actually meeting them in person.
ReplyDeleteI act very similarly to you when I come in contact with people over the internet. Instead of becoming close with them, I use the internet to get to know people merely on the surface. I learn about interests and things we have in common. I wouldn't use the internet to get any closer with people than mere formalities.
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